Continuation of Faith Multiplied
           A few years before I married Drew, I went through a season in my life where I made one bad choice after another. I became powerless against sin. I was out of control and I had no idea how to stop it. 

            I found myself in a relationship with a Muslim. Believe me when I say I didn’t go from being a committed Christian who loved God to being in a serious relationship with a man who openly confessed his Islamic roots overnight. However, it was one rebellious decision that led me down a spiral of sin.

            I doubt most people living in rebellion could pinpoint at what moment they chose to defy God. Unfortunately, I am not most people. I do remember exactly the moment I chose to rebel. I heard the Holy Spirit tell me not to do something. I got arrogant and blatantly replied, “I’m going to anyways.” 

            You don’t need a rocket scientist to speculate how that turned out, do you? I got my heart broken and then became bitter at God for allowing the pain….after I conveniently forgot that He told me not to do it in the first place. Now, I not only had rebellion in my heart but bitterness as well. Over the next year I successively made one poor decision after another each one adding another bear trap on my heart.

            It is phenomenal the sin we are capable of committing when we are out of God’s covering. My rebellion against God removed the Holy Spirit’s voice in my life. I left God’s covering and in doing so opened myself up to all sorts of evil.

            I had no check in my spirit towards sin. I couldn't resist it like I could before. Oh, I felt shame all right. The guilt ate me alive, but isn't that exactly what the enemy does?  Satan encourages us to sin and then accuses us when we do. He tells us to hide in our shame rather than bring it to the light of Christ.
            So, why would a Christian who loves God rebel? I have asked myself that question over and over. Why did I choose to reject the Holy Spirit in my life and remove myself from God’s covering? I think the heart of the problem arises from not trusting who God is.

            Rebellion comes from the misconception that God is a taker and not a giver. Yes, we may feel bitterness and if we’re honest maybe a little betrayed by God. However, even at the core of those feelings there is the inability to have faith that the Lord wants good things for us…has planned good things for us.

            We need to run to the Lord with our feelings of bitterness and betrayal and not away from Him. Let’s face it; it’s not as if He doesn’t know about it anyways!

 “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32

            God is a giver…plain and simple. I was visiting a church one Sunday morning when I learned this. This church was in the middle of a revival. They had three services that morning and there was literally standing room only. I hadn’t been to church in a while (obviously), so I was looking forward to being in the presence of God. The problem was….I could not enter into worship. I looked around the room and saw evidence that the Holy Spirit was there. I just couldn’t feel Him.

            I sought the Lord and immediately all of my sin, rebellion, and bitterness came into the light of Christ. I finally saw my heart for what it was…...evil. It is hard for me to express the deep sadness and loss I felt from being separated from God. I stood there fully awake and poignantly hallow. I repented…truly repented and resolved in my heart to permanently turn 180 degrees from my sin. I started to weep as the Holy Spirit came and cleansed my dirty soul. 

            One by one those bear traps gently came off of my heart as I basked in the Holy Spirit’s presence. The Lord loves the unlovable, forgives the unforgivable, redeems the unredeemable…..The Lord Gives. And, what do you know? The sermon that morning was on the idolatry of the Islamic religion. No joke.

“This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” 1 John 3: 19

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 


01/29/2012 11:01pm

Notice how the title dramatizes the slavery to sin?

01/30/2012 5:29am

Wow, you are a good (HS inspired) writer! Your authenticity will bring others to freedom! Miss you guys

Dedra Matson
01/30/2012 6:22am

Thanks for sharing Audrey. As I've heard before, "we can not teach what we have not learned." Some of us just take a little longer in the "learning" department (me included). Love the verse in 1 John at the end. One to memorize for sure!

01/30/2012 11:23am

Dedra, I am guilty of being a 'slow learner'. lol I think it is a beautiful thing when people have a testimony that is absent of all the 'uglies.' I totally agree that the verse should be memorized! :)

01/30/2012 7:29am


01/30/2012 8:01am

Wow! God is good!

So proud of you!! What a victory we have in Jesus! Ithank you for your Courageous transparency
01/30/2012 8:15am

01/30/2012 8:26am

Praise God! He is greater than our hearts! I love you Audge! Thank you for sharing your heart! It is good, because Jesus has redeemed it! I so agree that we rebel because we don't believe God is a Giver! What a lie! I'm so excited to read the next one! Keep writing and blessing! xoxo Mom

01/30/2012 11:02am

Wow. WOw. wow. God is a GIVER not a TAKER! Just take the little faith and fish I have and multiply it Lord! Love your writing. There is now therefore NO condemnation.

02/07/2012 9:08am

Thank you. Your transparency is allowing the Holy Spirit to shine brilliantly. Great insights into enemy strategy. That 180 degree turn... soldiers are taught to make an "About Face!" A snappy turn is the goal. That is always where God's way of escape will be found. Thank you for letting God inspire us all through your writing!


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    About the Author

    Hi, My name is Audrey Frazier. Thank you for visiting. I am a wife and mother of two (2yr & newborn). I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I hope to share my thoughts, experiences and embarrassments with anyone brave enough to read them!


    September 2012
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    January 2012


    A Sacred Heart
    A Slugful Heart
    Carry My Bags And Walk Behind Me
    Cease Your Striving
    Faith Multiplied
    It Starts...
    Old Stuff
    Revealer Or Concealer?
    Spiritual Trig?
    Stand At The Quarry And Shout
    Step Into The Water
    The Fog Cleared
    Where The Snake Goes It Grows

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