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I was terrified.  A weak door was the only thing separating me from him.  I stood staring at the door knob as it jiggled, begging to turn. 

I jumped with every thump against the door. A torrent of thoughts flooded my mind as I recalled how foolish I was.

What was I a naïve, young woman doing in India? 

There was no need to look for escape…I knew there was none.  The tiny hotel room was no larger than a walk-in closet that looked like a prison cell. The only tiny window in the room was barred and six feet up the wall.

Any glorified daydreams I had of being courageous in a situation such as this were so far out of reach it was laughable.  I was frozen with fear.  I felt my leg muscles twitch and waver from having stood in the same tense spot for so long.  I was too frightened to breathe let alone move.

My mind raced as I tried to remember the other missionary’s room number so that I could call them. It was no use…they didn’t tell me. It wouldn’t have made a difference, however, because I knew that the answering service was in the Hindi language. 

My heart was racing too fast to pray any coherent prayer. The only words I could manage to inaudibly whisper were, “Jesus….Jesus…..help me.”

It was four hours before that man gave up getting into my room.  Sleep was out of the question that night. My legs had nearly given out by the time I dared to sit on my bed. I sat there staring at the door until daylight shone brightly through the window. I had never been so grateful for the light of the sun.

Have you ever felt like Satan was crouching at your door? Banging and scratching as he waited for the slightest weakness to penetrate?

How often do we fear what the enemy will do to destroy our peace and security?  Sometimes I find myself spiritually frozen with fear and worry.  I wring my hands imagining all the different ways that Satan could wreak havoc.

Whether it is through personal temptation or indirectly through others, we can all relate to how gossip, depression, pornography, self-condemnation, fear, defeat, addiction etc. could destroy our lives.

We offer up weak prayers from a position of defeat. How backwards that is!

Oh, how we unconsciously think that the enemy has the upper hand. Watch any secular movie and you can see the struggle against good and evil.  The wicked are almost always portrayed as more powerful.

Do you remember the dream that I wrote about in Where the Snake Goes it Grows? Satan only has the authority that we give him.

“Jesus summoned His twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out and to heal every kind of disease and every kind of sickness.”   Matthew 10:1

We are kidding ourselves if we think that Satan doesn’t recognize the difference between us believing we have authority over him or not.

The battle is already won!  Why do we keep ‘hoping’ for a good ending? We know the ending!  We have all authority through Christ Jesus and His resurrection power!

We need to pray against the enemy but more than that…we need to BELIEVE that we have the victory!

This recently became real to me.  I was worried and fearful over something the enemy was trying to possess in my life.  My mind was so heavily burdened that I felt confused and clouded.

I was trying so hard to pray against what was going on in my life, but I was praying with weak faith.  All of a sudden I felt like the Holy Spirit told me that I have all authority in Christ Jesus. It was like a light bulb came on.

Before I even knew what was coming out of my mouth I confidently shouted, “I’m not afraid anymore!” 

The most amazing thing happened…..all fear and worry vanished.

It was like the fog cleared and all I could see was Jesus’s shining victory over darkness.

The light has won! We don’t need to be tormented or scared of evil winning because we already know Satan is defeated.

Let’s watch the smoke clear as we call on the name of Jesus KNOWING that He’s going to chase that devil off our doorstep.


 


Renee Aho
05/18/2012 2:39pm

Very true, enjoyed reading! God bless you Audrey!

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Becky Matson
05/19/2012 8:09am

Quite an experience you had there, girl. Your conclusion is so right on. Fascinating that you used the "I am not afraid" phrase. A wise elderly doctor recently advised me to use more positive affirmations in my "self talk." He said, "Use 'I am' phrases...'I am healthy.' 'I am detoxing well.' 'I am full of life.'" On those days when the enemy is crouching at the door, I think I'll add, "I am not afraid." Good word!

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08/08/2012 2:08am

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    About the Author

    Hi, My name is Audrey Frazier. Thank you for visiting. I am a wife and mother of two (2yr & newborn). I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I hope to share my thoughts, experiences and embarrassments with anyone brave enough to read them!

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